Hoping for a Brain Cloud

So I woke up at 3:55am this morning and was wide awake. I would actually say I was wired. This never happens. 3:55am is usually my bedtime. After a piece of bread, milk, and a digestive enzyme, I had layed in bed, pondered the wonders of Facebook and took my pulse several times using the stopwatch on my itouch, until after 5:30 and decided to get up. After all, I had an idea for a blog post. Don't worry, I'll take a nap at 8am when the kids go to school.

 Have you every compared yourself to a character in a movie, or the character's situation in a movie? Recently there were some oldies but goodies on Encore, so I recorded a few movies to watch with the kids on Friday nights. Jonathan, Brandon, Riley and I watched Joe Versus the Volcano. After an hour, Jonathan was just to involved in playing backgammon on his iphone to watch anymore and Riley is just too young to catch the ins and outs that make the show interesting. So it ended up that just B and I watched it. So tonight, during my moments of wakefulness (is that a word?) I all of a sudden thought about how similar my life is to Joe's at the beginning of the movie.


I walk through each day doing the same things, taking the same abuse, dealing with the same situations. I vacuum the kitchen floor. I let the dogs in. I let the dogs out. I start laundry. I yell at the dogs to be quiet and realize that yet again its the neighbor's dog. I dread 3pm when the tornadoes come home and scatter like fleas so that I have to round 'em up and force homework on them. Then chores. When I talk to them I sound like Joe's boss at the factory - endlessly repeating myself. Then they talk to me like Joe's boss talks to him. It makes me feel like Joe. I go to the doctor all the time. Why does my head hurt all the time? Why do I keep getting sick? I think there is something wrong with my hormones. I think my body says, "Seratonin? Ya right, like I am going to use THAT!"


But. . . I am looking forward to the day that my doctor, or anyone for that matter, tells me I have a brain cloud. Okay, not literally a brain cloud. A metaphoric brain cloud. Something that will change my life, the people around me, and send me on some journey that gives me purpose. I am not looking to jump into a volcano. . . well maybe someday. I just want to meet my limo driver that will point me in all the right directions.


And then find my Dede, Angelica or Patricia.


(Remember, I'm Joe here.)


And its okay for that person to be someone already in my life.


And then I want to realize that my brain cloud wasn't real and it was all me to begin with.